I don't read the author's blog (didn't?) but went over there after hearing about the new book. And she invited comments for a giveaway with a question, a discussion prompt, that I liked. Not to get all heavy but I want to post it here. Click away if you don't feel like talking serious right now. It's ok by me. Really.
|remembering to cuddle during a hospital trip|
|before I knew|
My daughter's diagnosis with DS created fear in me, created deeper and more engulfing fear than I had ever felt (or at least, since I left the monsters of childhood behind). Fear about all that could happen, fear about all I couldn't control, all that I couldn't protect her from. Fear of judgement from others, from myself. Fear of the worst. Fear. Fear. Fear.
I am not a fearful person. I left home to be a foreign exchange student in a developing country at age 15. I've always chosen the 'less traveled' path. I am confident. I don't worry about going alone. I chose my husband based on love without fear for cultural difference, economic hardship, immigration woes. I didn't worry about a thing during my pregnancy.
So the diagnosis kicked me into feelings uncharted. The intimate unfamiliar world. I was deeply sad, mostly at night when my tough projected exterior of Can Do Mama started to expire and the demons in my head came out to play.
It took me the better part of a year to get out of Fear Mode and into Hope Mode. She's only 17 mo old so its not been all that long. Now my fears are more specific and justified and they are not the priority. Now hope fights forward. Hope for her mobility in the short term. Hope for her sight in the medium. And hope for a beautiful, charmed life that touches others in the long.
Its good to hope.